Hair.

I desperately need a haircut. D;

I was thinking of going back to a visual kei style cut like this, eventually:

(except short in the back. I want to go silver too! ^o^)

But my next haircut will be a cross between this:

and this:

Q&A With lovelyandporcelain

~Update~

So much has changed over the past few months.
A two year relationship ended. I started dating a new guy, then what I had with him ended. Now, I'm with someone else. If there's anything I've learned, is that things can change so quickly. I've been so stressed about everything, though, it's calmed down quite a bit these past few days. I hope it can stay that way.

What I do know, is that I'm slowly figuring things out for myself. It's scary, but it's something that needed to be done. I can't rely on other people for that too much. I also can't expect people to have the nicest things to say about all of this.

But, I guess none of that should really matter, even if it hurts.
People can be cruel and ignorant. They will stick their noses into your business and try and make it their own. The truth is, that this is MY LIFE. These are MY decisions, no one else's. So, what I do, and who I'm seeing, does not affect them in any way. I have to keep reminding myself that. Especially, if I want to be happy.

"Lolita fashion in Newfoundland": Petticoats

The petticoat, in my opinion is the most important aspect of a lolita outfit. Without it, you can not achieve that "cupcake" or "bell shaped" silhouette that makes this fashion so unique.

It`s quite hard to find anything loliable here in St.John`s. I often shop at Thrift stores to find my things. The only thing I feel is very hard to find is a decent petticoat. I have three petticoats. Two are American Apparel, and one is from a costume store. I really like my AA pettis, because they`re made of a nice fabric and are both very soft. The only thing is, the multi-layered petti is too short for lolita skirts.
 Neither of them are really voluminous enough on their own. In lolita fashion, your petticoat should not be visible at all, also, Skirts that are more than 2-3 inches above the knee (depending on the substyle) are too short to be considered lolita. Here are some shots of a lolita-inspired outfit of mine:

So I wear my shorter one for more lolita-inspired outfits and the longer one with my knee length dresses and layer it over my shorter ones . I like the amount of volume my costume petticoat gives me. It`s made of a stiff fabric, and gives quite a bit of poof when I layer it. The thing I don`t like about it is that I have to turn it inside out after each use so it doesn`t deflate. It`s also kind of scratchy.  But for $22, I couldn`t turn it down
There is a place down town that sells longer A-line Petticoats. However, they are made by Hell Bunny. This means that they're more of a 50's "Swing-Style", which are much longer than most lolita skirts (even classic).
I haven't tried their pettis under any of my dresses yet. They are decently priced, so I may invest in one. I've been looking for a nice A-line petti for a while for a lovely skirt I bought a few years ago. I was looking at a Black Hell Bunny Petticoat last month. They seem to be great quality. I may have to wear it higher on my waist or even fold down the waist band to make it slightly shorter.

(On a side note, my boyfriend actually bought me the Hell Bunny "Courtney Coat", which is perfect because it actually accommodates even my puffiest outfits. However, I feel like the lace may give off and "ita" vibe. I may replace some of it. It's not scratchy really. And it's hardly noticeable. It's a softer raschel lace. Which I don't mind at all. I may have to get a second opinion on it. But it's still probably my favorite piece of clothing in my wardrobe)

Needless to say, I will probably get a new petticoat online for cheap. I've read reviews on the Classical Puppets and Dear Celine's pettis seem like my best bet. Once I save a bit of money, I'll buy a few brand pieces. But for now, I'll have to keep my eyes peeled for some more loliable clothing.

Personal Update

I decided against going to school today. I'm not exactly in the best mood, I thought if I went I would only be a bother. I really have to fuck off with all this procrastinating, I know.

Anyway, I'm going out with Lauren and Jeff tonight, which is always a lot of fun. I haven't seen them in a while so It'll be nice to spend some time with them. I'd really like to spend more time with my friends in general. I always really enjoy myself and they cheer me up when I feel crappy. Unfortunately I really haven't been hanging out with anyone lately. I don't really know why. I feel like it's a combination of things. I always want to spend time with my friends from MUN, but sometimes I feel like Nick really doesn't want me to, or he doesn't want to go. I can't explain it. It kind of makes me feel isolated sometimes. It can be frustrating, but I think nick is coming around. They're all such awesome people. I know he'd get a long with them.
Also, I've been kind of broke lately. like super poor. I really have to save my money.
but over all, my mood hasn't been the best. I just feel tired and sluggish all the time. I've been having pretty poor self esteem issues. Nick has been great though. He really does make me feel better about myself. I just don't want him to feel like I'm feeling this way because of him, because it isn't his fault. I've been like this for most of my adolescent life. It's not as if this is something new for me.
Maybe I'm just hormonal or something. but probably not. I don't think my uterus has anything to do with this.

I've been told many times that I'm not being a burden to anyone. But I really can't help but feel that way sometimes. I don't want to get in the way or be annoying. I don't want them to feel obligated to invite me places. I know I'm probably just making all this shit up in my head to make everything more understandable for me. I just don't see how anyone could genuinely want to be around me lately. I'm not interesting or "cool". In my opinion anyway. Ugh. Someone make me pancakes. 

City and Colour and New Yummy Purchases

Yesterday I made a few purchases while I was out with my boyfriend. My first find were these amazing jeans that I found at a vintage/ consignment shop that I frequently visit. They’re extremely comfortable, and the denim is super soft. I like the light wash a lot. There are some cool details as well. :3

I love the little leather heart on the right pocket. So cute.

There are really cool zippers on the back of the legs too.

The button on the front is really interesting as well. It looks like a dial on an electric guitar.

Back pockets:

We also went to a candy store called “Freak Lunch Box”. They have a huge selection of candy and confectionery, as well as clever novelty items. There is another candy store in the area called “The Candy Bouquet”, which is also quite good. But Freak Lunch box has a lot more variety, and you can also buy most of the candy in bulk. I bought $15.65 Worth of candy.

Pocky, a Cadbury “flake” bar, A Sugar Daddy, Strawberry Milkshake whoppers and a TON of chocolate covered almonds.

No regrets though. I love my sweets.

As you probably already know, I went to see City and Colour last night as well. My boyfriend was kind enough to also buy me a t-shirt from the merch table.  
; u ;
This was the one I chose:

 

Nick bought a limited edition shirt and a Little Hell record as well. I think he’ll be getting a record player for his birthday next month. This may be the start of a vast collection of vinyl. 

Concert and Other News

Hello! I haven't posted on here in a a looong time! I've been in a bit of a rut lately. Also, I post more frequently on my tumblr. So if you're not already following me there, please check out my tumblog!

I'll be seeing City and Colour with my boyfriend tonight. I'm so excited!! Ah~~!
I'm a huge fan of Dallas Green. I'll probably be bawling the whole time. I've always felt connected to his music. Maybe it'd how he writes his lyrics, or perhaps it's because I started listening to him when I was going through a tough time in my life. I'm not sure.

Nick and I are going to chill out down town before the show, maybe visit some local shops and have dinner. :)
I'm stoked. Even though our seats are kind of far back, I don't mind. If I can hear his voice, I'll be completely happy.